Things you never thought you would say
before you owned a V
Compiled by Mary K. Chelton PhD from the vizsla listserv
"not now honey, the dog is sleeping on the bed"
"Keep your lips off that table"
"Come back here with my socks/underwear/bra!"
"GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE TOILET!!!!
And never have I been outside at 3:30 AM so excited about "GOING POTTY"!!
* HELLO BOB!! HELLO JARO!! Oh, hi honey.
* NO Bob!! That belongs to Jaro!
* NO Jaro!! That belongs to Bob!
* ONE more time, and I'll have you transformed into Goulash.
* I'm sorry honey, I'm reading the vizsla list messages right now.
* Can't make it tonight. Have to work on Jaro's homepage.
* All right. You've just broken the record of the fastest puppy-food eater AGAIN.
* He definitely is the prettiest Vizsla on earth.
After getting the dog as purely a pet: "Of course we can go to that dog show/field
trial, its only a 12 hour drive."
For those with intact females in heat: "Come here sweetie and let me help you put
your pants on."
As a former City dweller and non-hunter: "Nice over and under shotgun."
And finally: "What are you complaining about, we have only spent $5,000 on the dogs
"Get AWAY from his poop!"
"What's that on your pants?" "Oh, that's just dog slime...."
"Look out...shoot.....he just lifted his leg on you.....sorry....he doesn't belong to
me...let me see if I can find something to wipe that up....."
"Nadi was in the chair first. You can sit on the floor."
"Don't put that in her dish....that's just people food."
"The baby just sat in the dog water."
"That's Nadi's blanket she won at the dog show. You go get yourself another one
"Will you get me a coke....I have the dog on my lap."
"The dog licked your sucker, honey? Don't worry, I will wash it under the faucet and
it will be fine."
"Don't let her kiss you....she just licked herself."
"Who ripped up the bathroom garbage? It looks like a war in here!"
"Who ate the crotch out of my underwear"
Before I had Vizslas I didn't need to know that semen came in three temperatures.
Give them a bone and close the door
Get Busy! Do your business!
No, it's a Vizsla
How can he stick his leg so far in his mouth?
Lets clean out those eye snots
We cannot have three!!!
"Get off the top of my head, I'm trying to read the paper."
"Come out from behind the couch with that rabbit right now"
"The dogs like me better than you" (which is only true during hunting season, I
Let's get that couch, it matches the dogs. (Gypsy, Burt & Tank).
"Whizz Whizz .... quickly, I need to go to bed!!!"
Who ate the toilet paper?
"Get your head out of the trash can"
Come here let me get that piece of grass that won't come out, no don't scoot.
Hurry get the old sheets off the sofa, it's your boss.
You're taking all the covers.
"Get your butt out of my face!"
while on the road, telling dog person about your dog sleeping arrangements in front of
non-dog person: "So & So slept with (insert two male dogs names here). I slept
with (insert two female dog names here)."
I heard my husband say this three times last night...
"You little monkey, get down from there!" at which point there is a mad scramble
from the top of the couch around the living room up the stairs into my bathroom (where I'm
trying to hide in the jacuzzi tub) back down the stairs and on top of the couch again.
"AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!" -what you say when your V is trying to get comfortable under
the covers and steps right next to your leg, just catching a *little* bit of your skin
under it's paw
"Get your elbow/foot off my groin!" (said in a very high voice)
"Come on roll over and 'Mummy' will tickle your balls" :
"Samson, get your feet off the keyboard!"
"Samson, NO! That's MY breakfast!"
No, you can't sit on my lap while I am driving.
This fall we had a new milkman start delivering to our door. The first time he came,
Chauncey lunged at him in his typical overly friendly way, and I said cheerfully,
"It's OK! He just wants to smell your crotch!"
Not as funny as the "wipe" comment, but I never had a "show" dog
before. Surprising to me how many times in one day I can say BITCH referring to the dog.
Surprising also is when I tell someone what happened at the dog show and I say WINNER'S
BITCH and they think I'm saying something bad!
I find myself saying: "That's a good little wiggle-butt!" And I'm always saying:
"No, don't eat that! - And don't eat that either!"
"Get off my lap, I need to wipe."
"That's enough, your feet are clean enough".
"I owe my peaches and cream complexion to Vizsla spit."
Well I never thought I'd share my bed with my husband and sometimes 4 others.